Funny Wotlk Poem

Twas the night before WotLK, and in World of Warcraft


Not a creature would /stir, /sing, /dance, /silly, or /laugh

The servers were hung, all instancing ceased

In hopes the expansion would soon be released



The children were nestled all snug in their beds

All hoping to pass the hour of the dead

And I, in my brutal's gear, from PvP

Had just trekked to the inn for some rested XP



When out by the arena there arose such dissent

I wondered if Blizzard started a world event

I readied my bubble with a heavy heart

If scourge were invading, I was prepared to hearth



The moon didn't light up the boring old dirt

(C'mon, some Stormwind snow couldn't hurt!)

When what should I see, out there on the streets?

Twas a musclebound human, and a mass of elites!



He was giving out buffs, which were awesome but brief

I knew in a moment that it was the king

Was he giving a quest, or was this an illusion?

He started to /yell as we watched in confusion



"Come raiders, and twinkers, and casuals too!

Come on PvPers, get out of your queue!

To the top of the habour, to the top of the wall!

You can sprint, you can mount, you can even slowfall!"



He jumped on the mailbox, to give rise to himself

I feared for a moment he'd become a night elf

But he did not /dance, or remove all his gear

So we all gathered round, and we lent him our ear



And then, on the arena, I heard from the roof

The prancing of two dozen large Saronite boots

As I drew in my head, visions of taurens prancing

I was distracted by an evil knight dancing



He was dressed in all epics, from his helm to his rings

They spat death coils and did other impressive things

A large runeblade he had flung on his back

And in a scary voice he cried, attack!



His eyes, how they glowed! His body, so thin!

He had emerald hair, and odd, death-colored skin!

His undying mouth was drawn up in a sneer,

As if immune to poly, stunlock, root, and fear



We all drew our weapons, and I readied my shield

I knew I'd enjoy thrill that I feel

But Varian raised his sword, and let out a fierce growl

We all hesitated, hit by his piercing howl



"His kind," he claimed, "are not our enemies!

They don't hide in shadows, they don't even eat babies!

They all hate scourge, and hope that they will die!

Even so, like alliance, kids will stare at his glowing blue eyes



But from out in the crowd, came a shout, "He's no scourge!

You can tell from the way he said lol Dirge!

His hotbar has death coil and army of the dead adjacent!

You've brought us a target, we won't be complacent!"



"But you see," the Nelf said, his voice calm and malicious,

"I may have found the dark, but I find it delicious.

We stole from Arthas!" He screamed while he glowered.

"To mock claims that paladins are so overpowered!"



"But where," I responded, "Did you get all your loot?"

"My chestpiece has less stats than one of your boots!"

He took out his hearthstone, and said "Look Beanie...",

As he showed me that it was now set to Dalaran



"I got them in Northrend, just as you will.

In a month your new set is as useless as twill.

The ships that you have always sat on while bored

You know, when you levelled, that habour you ignored?"



"It's a land of new quests, and wondrous gifts,

Of casual content, and paradigm shifts.

So come to the ships, if you'll continue playing,

And take on "You have been following my footsteps all along!" as your saying!"



He laughed and death gated, in true death knight fashion,

But in his wake I had found a new passion

In this new land I'd find gears of epic proportions

Perhaps I would even find something for Retribution!



Varian raised his hammer, and roared with all his power

Then he jumped on his mount and rode for the habour

But I heard him exclaim, as we rode to our fate

"I hope when we get there, it will be release date!"